A little hobby I took up last summer. A little hobby I find quite humorous and enlightening..
1. My Grandmother smells like baby powder.
2. My aunt has a way of covering her insults with compliments. A skillful and practical quality to possess. An example? “She’s hot” is not meant in any other way than: “she is so not hot”.
3. “Pink stuff” with cherry flavoring is not as joyful as “pink stuff” with raspberry flavoring.
4. Mini-skirts and Ugg’s are still not attractive.
5. Pastel purple beach glass appears not so purple when placed on pale skin.
6. You CAN eat a chocolate doughnut WITHOUT a glass of milk. However, it can not be done with Oreo’s.
7. Russians have sexy accents.
8. A guy can wear eyeliner and still be sexy.
9. I’m an exclamation whore. I should probably hit rehab for my addiction.
10. Mustard is in it’s own league. It can not be put on par with Ketchup.
11. That awkward “sup” you give to a schoolmate when you’re the only two walking down the hall. It’s even more confusing and awkward when they reply with “sup”. No, I asked you.
12. You can not be manly after leaving a voice message on a girl’s phone of you singing a love song. You simply can not recover from that.
13. When a pool says “0 ft. No diving.” Gee, thank you for the warning!
14. Why does Pizza Hut “Express”, like the one at the T.A. take longer to make a pizza than a normal Pizza Hut?
15. If you don’t know how to spell a word, how can you look it up in the dictionary?
16. It seems like it’s impossible for space to end. But, it also seems like it can’t possibly go on forever.
17. Why is it that when you put your iPod on shuffle you usually skip the first 13 songs to get to one you like?
18. At Target, they put “$1 dollar off” on shampoo and conditioner bottles. However, if you look at the price tags, the ones with the stickers are marked at a higher price than the ones without the coupons.
19. Horatio Caine always has did-he-really-just-say-that cheesy one-liners.
20. Even with those cheesy one-liners, Horatio will always be the shit.
21. When a child screams “boat ship” it can be mistaken for “bullshit”. It’s quite humorous… When you’re with the right group of people.
22. Adam Rodriguez and Emily Proctor have the best on-screen love.
23. At first, I believed my cousin when she said she knew how to “work it” with bands. Though once we hit the parking lot at St. Mary’s, I no longer believed her.
24. “Aunt Dawn, did you just say ‘boat ship’?” (Jill’s request)
25.I absolutely miss and love and adore Javi… That is all. 🙂
26. When you crack your knuckles underwater it sounds SO amazingly awesome.
27. Jolly Ranchers…. Say it a couple times. Who would name candy that. It makes no sense. What does sugary rectangles have to do with happy ranchers?
28. My dad eats Halls Vitamin C as candy.. No joke!
29. French fries are ALWAYS better after they’ve been sitting next to the pickles for a while.
30. The top label water, at the Corner Store, is less expensive than the “generic” brand.. P.S. they’re the same size.
31. South Jordan music can be used to retaliate against your parents.
32. Ke$ha really DOES say “I like your beard” in the end of “Your Love is my Drug” lmao 🙂
33. When needing yearbook information, people tend to tell you more and be more calm via text messages and instant messages.
34. The class of 2010 graduates in June.. Wth is that crap about?!
35. It bugs me when people just say “night”.
36. I have never felt closer to a fictional character before Joey Potter on Dawson’s Creek.
37. More people give their trust away to things that only provide happiness temporarily.
38. At the end of every party, there is always a girl crying.
39. It is impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
40. You never know where to look when eating a banana.
41. There is no panic like the panic you feel when you momentarily get your hand or head stuck in something.
42. Everyone has had an uncle who has tried to steal their nose.
43. No one ever puts up signs that say “Nice dog”.
44. This is directly for Jill: Nothing is quite so annoying as when someone goes right on talking when you are interrupting. 🙂
45. The other line always moves faster.
46. You can not make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
47. The more I observe the harder it becomes for me to add to this soon-to-be book.
48. I know I can always count on Vanilla Iced Coffee from McDonald’s to give me a stomachache… It has become one of those things I’ll never learn by.
49.In the years to come toads will become good luck. Goodbye warts, hello marshmallow covered boxes.
50. Those preconceived notions you have about life are normally true. Except the ones about your wisdom teeth.
51. Today, while taking a yearbook picture, I came to the conclusion that Mindy Payne is a lot of things… None of which were what I had been told.
52. Mindy Payne is going to be one ballin’ yearbook editor-in-chief. After all, the ones with the staggering first steps turn out to be the editors. 🙂
53. Propel water makes you pee numerous times throughout the night.
54. Summers are always filled with mistakes you’ll never learn from.
55. Afternoon thunderstorms make up for the fact that work is a ball of bad candy, punks, and lack of order.
56. Where there isn’t any honey for her nuggets there isn’t a happy Jill.
57. Painting with a near four year old is exhausting.
58. Arthur Clark’s Third Law.
59. There is no such thing as a small spider.
60. I have found it hard to coexist with those who love what you love. There is simply no spark in the long nights that come.
61. It’s been scientifically proven, by me, that Coke is less dense than Diet Coke.
62. Guys in their 20’s have nothing to offer conversationally.
63. It has also been scientifically proven that fat free Oreo’s will get soggy faster than original Oreo’s.
64. Kurtis is charcoal gray. Enough said.
65. When people walk around in my apartment building it shakes.
66. Casey’s favorite thing to do is sleeeeeeeep; or do her make-up.
67. In the words of Kurtis “‘Im only afraid of four kinds of snakes… Big ones, small ones, dead ones, and alive ones..” 68. You can, in fact, die at the beach and have the cause of death not be drowning. Bee stings.. Serious stuff.
69. Getting a kitten will give strangers preconceived notions that you’re a cutter.
70. Just because you’re a college graduate doesn’t mean you know how to eat a cream filled doughnut without spilling cream all over yourself.
71. Nothing goes better than a wild berry smoothie and McDonald’s french fries.
72. The Tyra show has some of the most entertaining yet disturbing trash tv. Like trans-gender children and women who long to be 600+ pounds.
73. Old people shouldn’t see today’s idea of a comedy. They’ll just get insulted and grumble about society’s idea of humor.
74. For the past few months I’ve not had a nightmare when I fell asleep watching Titanic. It’s calming and an awesome love story.
75. Slug Bugs with license plates that read, “2QT” always are operated by unbelievably horrific drivers. Always.
simplymaris 